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Especially if you're a heterosexual who has to break up with another member of the same sex. Allow me to explain: there are circumstances in everyone's life where they meet and become friends with someone who they subsequently become bored with very quickly. These acquaintences often have blinders on when it comes to outside perceptions, so said people don't actually notice or know that they are boring, tedious, and thoroughly annoying . They continue to call, pop in or drop by, follow you around, and generally make a nuisance of themselves ad nauseum until you become so fed up that you need to sever all ties. This is commonly known in modern vernacular as "breaking up" or "dumping" someone. But the challenges of breaking up with an acquaintence of the same sex can be daunting.
Primary reason: There's no "I just want to be friends" cop out. Well, so do THEY. That's WHY they're pestering you. One easy excuse out the window.
Secondary: You can't simply tell them "I'm not attracted to you." Well, no shit Sherlock! You're both heterosexuals! That's not why they're there, and if it was, it'd be an entirely different can of worms all together.
Tertiary: There is no way to pawn them off on your other friends, as sometimes you can with unwanted dating baggage. In this case, the problem is still around, and now all your friends are pissed off at you too.
Quaternary: The "It's not you, it's me" thing just does NOT work. Because it's not YOU, it's most definitely THEM. Try telling someone this when there isn't an ounce of truth to it, and see how far it gets you. Unless you're a sociopath or a teenaged girl, they'll see right through you. Oh, and they think you're the cat's pajamas, remember? So it simply CAN'T be you, leading them to only one conclusion: it's them. Depression and self-consciousness follow quickly with you as the cause. Need that on your conscience?
So what do we do? Well, here's where it gets tricky. The only possible way to "dump" an acquaintence of the same sex is to be totally honest with them. This, however, is a practice completely frowned upon by the general public in most areas of life. Most people would rather throw up smoke and mirrors than tell someone "You're an idiot, and I don't want to hang out with you anymore" or something to that effect (Note: harshness is not necessary, but very emphatic and useful when trying to get the point across.) People can come up with all kinds of creative excuses to sever a friendship. A few examples: moving, illness, religious discrepancies, lifestyle discrepencies, different taste in soft drinks, favourite sports team conflicts, parents who just don't understand, etc. The truth of the matter is any and all excuses that flow from lies will come back to bite you in the end. So we are left with the truth. Left with the crushing of one's spirit, the task of informing them that they aren't worthy of our company because they're just too damned unpleasant. This makes for a cadre of hurt feelings and vindictive ideas, and this is never pretty. My advice: If you find yourself meeting someone you simply can't stand, tell them immediately how caustic and off-putting they are. This ensures that it never gets to the point of you having to "dump" them in an ugly scene of masculine tear-hiding or female insult-hurling. Worst case scenario, someone you already don't like thinks you're an asshole. Better that then them getting to know you better and KNOWING you're an asshole. Cheers!
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Sir Smittius
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